Last week, I sat down with a family who drove across Florida—from Miami to Tampa—just to meet with me. Their son is getting sentenced soon in federal court, and they’re overwhelmed. The mother told me, “We’re trying to get ahead of this, but no one will tell us what to do.”
That’s not unusual. Most people don’t know how to prepare for sentencing. But here’s what made this case worse: their own lawyer told them not to be involved.
Let me explain exactly what happened—and how to avoid the same mistake.
“What Makes You Think I Need Your Help?”
That’s what the lawyer said.
This family, worried sick about their son’s future, finally got the courage to ask the attorney some basic questions:
- “What’s the plan for the sentencing memorandum?”
- “How can we help?”
- “What should we be doing right now?”
Instead of walking them through options or even acknowledging their concern, the lawyer pushed back:
“What makes you think I need your help creating the memorandum?”
“You hired me as your lawyer. I don’t need you to do anything but show up at sentencing.”
That’s an actual quote.
And to be honest, I wasn’t shocked. I’ve heard it before.
But I was still angry for them—because that mindset can absolutely wreck your outcome in court.
Sentencing Is Not a Time to Be Passive
Here’s the thing I need everyone reading this to understand:
No one cares more about the outcome of this case than you. Not your lawyer. Not the judge. Not the prosecutor. You.
So when a lawyer treats sentencing prep like something you should sit out, that’s a problem. Judges are looking for authenticity. They want to hear your story, in your words—not a sanitized PDF that reads like a résumé and was slapped together the night before.
Tip: Be Clear With Your Lawyer From the Start
If you’re about to hire a criminal defense lawyer—or even if you already have one—you need to say this out loud:
“I plan to be involved. I’m going to be the CEO of my own life. No one knows my story better than I do, and no one will work harder to tell it.”
If that makes the lawyer uncomfortable, move on. Seriously.
You’re not being difficult. You’re not getting in the way. You’re being responsible.
What’s at stake? Potentially years of your life. And if you think an 8-page memo from your lawyer will do the heavy lifting alone, you’re missing what actually persuades judges.
What Judges Really Want at Sentencing
Over the years, I’ve talked to dozens of federal judges. Here’s what they’ve told me:
They’re not impressed by boilerplate character letters or “check-the-box” memos.
They’re looking for:
- Honest acknowledgment of the harm caused
- A plan for what comes next
- A clear, personal narrative that shows effort—not excuses
- Signs that the defendant understands this isn’t just about them
That story doesn’t come from your lawyer. It comes from you.
And if you don’t have a plan to prepare it, you’re going to get swallowed up in legal procedure and vague arguments about sentencing guidelines.
Real Example: The Cost of Silence
In one case, a client we didn’t work with went to sentencing without submitting any narrative or mitigation material. His lawyer said it wasn’t necessary because he “wasn’t the worst guy in the indictment.”
He got 48 months.
Another defendant in the same case worked with us. He prepared a first-person narrative, sat down with his family to coordinate character letters, and created a reentry plan that he submitted to the court.
He got 15 months.
Same charges. Different outcomes. Why? One took ownership. The other followed the lawyer’s lead and disappeared.
Final Word: It’s Your Life. Act Like It.
Lawyers can be excellent advocates. Some are even brilliant. But too many approach sentencing like a performance they control—and forget that the real work comes from the person facing the consequences.
If your lawyer bristles when you try to help, that’s a red flag. If they think you’re just supposed to sit quietly and wait for the judge’s decision, they’re not serving you.
The families I meet—the ones who show up, ask questions, and get involved—are the ones who usually get better results.
They’re also the ones who feel less regret later.
Because whether you get 8 months or 48, you’ll remember whether you gave it everything you had.
Justin Paperny
P. S. If this resonates, join our team this Monday at 1 p.m. Pacific, 4 p.m. Eastern. We host a free webinar to answer questions, share lessons from real cases, and help you avoid the most costly mistakes people make during a government investigation. Bring questions. Come ready to learn.
